From Dec. 6th... my timeliness is amazing, I know

I am catching the "New Year's Bug" early this year. Maybe it's just the morning, or the fact that I have plans to go Christmas shopping later, but I am in a great mood. Which is kind of funny seeing as less than 12 hours ago I was in a terrible mood! It was one of those nights where I was just tired, and everything wrong in life just seemed to be glaring me in the face.

But today is a whole new day. There is really something to be said for sleeping on it...or the power of bipolar disorder...either way, here I am, welcoming Monday morning with open arms (at 4a.m. by the way, thank you new job at a gym).

I'm just feeling that "it's a new year, time for things to get better" twinge. I can restart my job search fresh, try to relocate in the New Year, and continue my chase for all that I want out of life. I have sort of given myself the holidays off to enjoy my new, albeit temporary, job, be thankful for my health, my family and my amazing friends. I have spent the last 5 months stressing day in and day out, but the resolutions have to start early this time. I'm going to stop wasting my days and enjoy them!

Here I introduce another original stage of grief: the "fuck it" stage. It is the holidays, and I am going to miss my mother and my former family situation terribly. But, it is what it is and my life is where it is at for a reason. So fuck it! I am going to enjoy what I have been given and the time that I had with her and continue to enjoy the gifts that she gave me. I may not feel this way tomorrow, or in the next 12 hours for that matter, but I'm grabbing it while i can.

I had a customer come in at my old job one day, he was a big burly, Harley ridin' mean looking guy. When I smiled and said hello and asked how he was he smiled back and said cheerily "I woke up breathing today, so I am doing great". What a great way to look at your day! It kind of puts the day into a different view for me when I look at it that way.

With the most positive result in mind, take a deep breath, and just say fuck it. Clear some space for great things to happen under the watchful eye of a guardian angel.

In case I'm not back before the new year, Happy Holidays! Life is hard, it can suck, but you just gotta learn to say fuck it. A late friend told me that, and I don't think i utilize this advice enough. Maybe we should all try it a little more often.